Ability

Ability is to look at a blank page,
And create a poem.
Ability is to stare in the eyes of fear,
And come out stronger because of it.
Ability is to walk into a room of strangers,
And come out with friends.
Ability is to admit you are wrong,
When you are wrong.
Ability is to get back up,
When you fall down.
Ability is to believe,
When everything seems lost.

Ability – a simple word, with a complex meaning.
For many, ability is never found, but for all ability is within.
Ability stare everyone in the face at one time or another.
Whether your ability is hoe well you shoot hoops,
How well you flip at dancing,
How smart you are at school.
You have ability.
For some, ability is lost by never trying.
Whether never trying to shoot one more time,
Never trying to bend a little more,
Or never trying to score higher in school.

Ability is within.
Ability is yours.

-Selina E. Matis

P.S. This is one of my favourite poems.

…SAP…

And The Victory Is Still Mine

“You are still the head girl in my eyes. Ask my heart and the answer will be the same”. 

This was said by a teacher who never even taught me. And yes, the title of Headgirl went to a great friend of mine. So, we were standing in the middle of the wing and all around me I could hear girls shouting mine and Ghina’s name and waving their hands. The V.P calls my name and everybody thinks that I have won and the whole wing erupts in an uproar but the next minute it is announced that one of best friends and also counterpart won by a lead of 20 votes. This was totally unexpected but that is what is life about.

I smile and pretend everything is fine when I know that I am not fine. I am smiling and shaking hands and my own smile feels fake to me. A friend of mine literally lifts me up (Awkward). I am physically present in the class but mentally I am far away from everything. All I want to do is pour down my emotions on a piece of paper. And I do. In that two hours, nothing and everything is going through my mind and all I want to do is cry. Because I have never been able to take a loss gracefully. That is just not me. I have learnt to do it. Don’t get me wrong, I am very happy for her. I just am not happy for myself.

The bell rings and school is finally over. I come out of the class and my biggest supporter, a girl from 7th grade is standing their tears in her eyes. She goes on crying saying that this is not fair, you should have won. That is the moment I realised that what I thought of as a defeat is actually my victory. In life, we win some fights, we lose some. But I won this one. I won the hearts of people. I got the love, support and their belief in me. They believe in me. My class stood by me all this time because they love me. Because they believe in me. And it is not only me but hundreds of others who are shocked and think that I should have won.

Somebody said to me,

“Life is very unpredictable. What happened today is the perfect example. One moment I was standing there laughing and shouting at the top of my voice and could not control my happiness and the next minute I was still laughing and shouting but something had gone amiss. That was when I realised that I always wanted you to win. In fact all of us wanted to.”

I came home and I waited for the tears to come and to break down but instead I smiled. And it felt real. Because this win means more to my friend then it will ever to me. She truly deserves it. And also because I found something priceless that can never be compared with being head girl. I have started going deep into things and actually am learning to see the depth of things and that happiness and success can be achieved from simple things whether it is the loss of something. All of this truly made my day and now here I am blogging about my victory with a smile as wide as my mouth can go.

…SAP…

Greatness Lies Within

There are two kinds of people in this world. One who remember other people. The other who are remembered by other people. Decide which are you ? Or which do you want to be ? Do you want the world to remember you ? Do you want your name to go down in history as that girl who did this great thing ? Do you want kids to remember your name and learn about you fifty years from now ? Even if that kid is your own grandchild.

History does not keep record of each and every person that have lived. Only those who make a mark on it. Whether that mark is big or small. Whether it is negative or positive. Hitler is remembered for being the worst dictator and for destruction of thousands of lives. His name is synonym with fear and death. On the other hand, Gandhi and Quaid-e-Azam are remembered as freedom fighters. A soldiers of peace and unity. They sacrificed their lives doing what they believed in. So everybody has his or her place in this world and that is how history remembers you.

Remembering people is easy but being remembered is the hard part. The key to being remembered is to do great things. And by great it is not meant that you do great things. Greatness lies in the little things we do. Like removing a tone or a branch of tree. Or feeding a beggar.  Giving your crayons to some other kids to use. You never know that the branch you removed, saved somebody’s life. The scenery that kid made with your crayon brought a smile to the kids widow mother.

Sometimes we fail to recognise the greatness that is ourselves. We fail to recognise our own actions.  But we should remember that greatness lies withing ourselves. And in our actions. Somewhere somebody will remember your small deed and treasure it for the rest of his life.

…SAP…

The Girl With The Words – Speechless

 Thursday. September 20, 2012.

You know when your day suddenly goes from normal to emotionally priceless day that you can never ever forget.Today was “THE” day. I really can’t describe today but I will try my best. So, I have been nominated for the Head Girl of the school, along with three others. And we have been campaigning since last week. Today, while going for the morning assembly, someone handed me these circulars which had this written on it.

Then in break the real fun started. The other section started this walk for their candidates. So my class also went for it. We were doing it for our class but all of a sudden the chanting went from 2nd year A to Sumaica. When we went upstairs in the younger classes corridors, each and every girl, from 5th to eight was hanging from their class windows or in the corridors with us, chanting Sumaica, Sumaica, Sumaica. I didn’t even know the name of the girl next to me, let alone the others. The next minute I see, some of us are standing on this bench and our opponents are in a bench opposite to us. People just keep coming to me, shaking my hand and yelling my name. I didn’t even know what to say to them. I was so shocked and amazed to see so many people there. Imagine a thousand girls shouting and screaming your name and you are standing their, grinning like an idiot, wanting so bad to cry and just speechless. I am the one with the words, yet I was left speechless today.

A girl grabs my hand and taking me aside tells me that you know your opponents are spreading rumours about you being rude and all and you lost some of your votes.  Then some other girls come up to me and say that, your whole wing is with you and Inshallah you will win. Even if by chance you don’t win, you are our Head Girl and you always will be. That moment was priceless for me. And I realised that this is all I wanted. That maybe somewhere in there I did something good that today not only my class but somehow the whole wing not only stands by me but also believes in me. I am glad, I never gave up on anything.

Then we moved from the bench to the canopy in the middle of our wing and this huge crowd is screaming with madness. And all I can think of is how lucky I am to be here. To be who I am.  Afterwards girls were giving me cards with “You are the princess” and God knows what else written on it. There was this one girl who was so crazy, she had covered her hands with my name and made others do it too. And while I was attending my extra classes, she sat outside my class and made fliers for two hours.

 I have realised that when you set your mind to do something, all you need is will and determination to do it. Someone asked me that, is your whole class voting for you and I replied, yes ofcourse. She was like, how come ? I replied, I spent 5 years developing unity in my class and proving that we are the best. This is my hard work paying off. This is for all those times I stood by them and believed in them and I know, on the way even annoyed them but I became their true classmate.

I never thought I will find this kind of love in this school. To be honest I never liked it much and didn’t pay heed to it. But I know that success can come from the smallest of the things. Now I know that I don’t need the votes to win. For me, I have already won. This was my win. Sumaica Asad, today was truly your day.

P.S. Dedicated to my awesome class, 2nd year A and then to each and every girl who is crazy enough to believe in me.

 …SAP…

I Made A Difference.

Today in English class, a girl came to me and handed me an article for the school magazine. I happen to be the Student Editor of this year. I couldn’t wait to get my hands on it and start reading it. But I had to wait for the teacher to finish. My friends wanted to read it first but I couldn’t let them read the fruit of my hard work. I started reading it and when I finished, I wanted a moment to myself and cry over this seemingly small but huge to me, victory. I was like, I wrote this. This is my hard work. This is my ambition. This is what I believe in. I could see her thoughts and her words in front of me on paper.

“Some things have to be believed in, to be seen”. -Ralph Hodgson 

You see the girl is Aisha Malik. Five years ago, I met her when I started going in the school bus and overtime we became best buddies. She is two years younger than me. Five years ago she was a hard core studying person. She still is. But the person who didn’t even used to touch books now buys them in bulks. She started reading and I just felt so proud and happy. Then she wrote a poem for this project in school. And  I asked her to write something and she did. I mean she just needed a little motivation to write.

Somewhere in there I made a difference. It is not that big a thing but it is for me. This world need more readers as well as writers. Today, not only am I proud of her but somehow I am also proud of myself. Truth is, if you ask her she will tell you that I never forced her to read or even to write. I didn’t even know myself that I would be making a difference. This means more than anyone will ever understand. You get that feeling when you dream of something and your dream comes true. That is how I feel. For the first time, I know that this is how a teacher feels when its students pass with flying colours.

I will post her article in a few days. Wait for it. It is worth a read. For me it is priceless.

…SAP…

Stranger In The City !

November 1, 2006.  2:00 p.m.
The moment I entered Qatar. It was a clear cut day with blue skies and bright sunshine. We stopped for a while and I was walking along the Qatari border and I felt like a stranger in this unknown land, felt like an alien who had invaded this unknown planet. Everything felt strange and odd. Even the blue sea felt like a stranger to me. I was a stranger in the city. That day changed my whole life. I did not know it at that moment but my perspective of life changed.

Things happen to you all the time and they happen for a reason even though you may not realise it at that moment. Some things are good, some are bad but for me this was the worst. For years I had travelled and lived in K.S.A. Now I was in a place I had never heard of. All I saw was a road ahead stretched to the longest point imaginable to me. I thought what had made me come into this land of strangers. I hated it at first sight. I mean, come on from my point of view, I was forced to leave everything behind, my awesome school, my friends, my skating team and my home. K.S.A was home. All I had now left were memories. I was filled with hatred towards this small land. I thought that I wouldn’t last here long and then I would go back but I was proven wrong.
During the ride in the city, whenever I looked out of the car, all I saw were big ugly Land Cruisers surrounding me. They were everywhere and I thought don’t these people have any other car. Then I was stuck in the traffic jam. Ugh. I hated it even more. The scenario of the city was so ugly, there were construction signs everywhere and digging was going on. The skyscrapers did not appeal to me. To me it looked like they are falling on you.

November 22, 2006
First day at the new school. Everyone remembers their first day at a new school. I for one will never, ever forget mine. It made everything worse. Being the new kid at school is horrible but being a complete stranger in an unknown desert is so much worse. New country, new city, new house, new school, new classmates, it was too much for me to take in at once.I hated to get up in the mornings and go to school because for me school was torture. I was just so different from the others there.

Even the corniche with its skyscrapers, bizarre lights and palm island didn’t appeal to me. I felt like I didn’t belong here.I just couldn’t understand the mystery behind it. Why people loved this strange and small land? What was there that I was missing? My evenings were spent in playing basketball with my brothers because I had nothing else to do.

But one day, I don’t exactly remember which one, everything changed. That was the day I met her. My first actual friend in Qatar. She was very ordinary but among her I found something special. That was our friendship. I don’t remember how we became friends but I remember all those days with her. Day by day, I felt less like a stranger and more at home. Sharing lunch, eating Doritos, laughing at silly jokes and sitting in the forbidden grassy land became a routine and I had fun. She became a part of my life. She meant the world to me because among her I had found my happiness. I found myself opening to her. She became my best pal. We used to roam aimlessly in the school grounds. We used to do forbidden things and break the rules. But life became fun. It became beautiful. I forgot my lonely stranger days and looked forward to the happy fun days. Sitting together, sharing the latest Hollywood gossip, chatting, reviewing the latest watched movies became our routine.

At night, I roamed in Abu Hamour doing a little sight seeing on the bonnet of our car. I learnt to drive my dads Mercedes at 11 near the Qatari border.

The land I hated at first, I fell in love with it the next. This city which was like a stranger to me became my best friend. I fell in love with the sunsets and sunrises of this little magical land. Playing golf and swimming in its clubs became my hobbies. To this day I have never understood its magic.

Now if I have a million opportunities, I wouldn’t even think about going back. I fell in love with its people, its sand, its beaches, its falling over skyscrapers and not to forget its cars. Roaming on its streets late at night, getting caught in the rains, I love it.

Many people come and go from this land, some admire it, some like it, some find it boring, some hate it but some like me, fall in love with it.

P.S. Dedicated to Zartasha Arooj Shahid, a friend who I loved more than anything else. This is something I wrote a long time ago. 

…SAP…

Poem: Mountains !

Sky high,
Shadows behind,
They stand with all their might,
And all their glory.
Man should learn,
To be straight,
And to be that respectable,
Something they have.
Sometimes blue,
Sometimes grey,
They play hide and seek
With all the colours in them.
Like a knight
Ready with his sword,
To charge in a battle field
They appear.

P.S. Wrote this poem while travelling back from K.S.A. One more 15 minutes poem.

…SAP…