The month of blessings and beauty is here. That one month where we get to polish ourselves and wash away our sins. That one month where blessings are countless. That one month where we are forced to review our actions and better them. Ramadan is here. Ramadan Mubarak !
I always hope that when Ramadan finishes, I would be the same person I was in Ramadan. I love the routine of it. Getting up for Sahoor at 3:30 in the morning. Barely eating something in my case. Then after praying Fajr, sleeping peacefully till you can which is till Duhr. And then sleeping again. Getting up again at Asr and that is when the day starts. My mom has given the responsibility of everything to me. So I am pretty much done. But Ramadan leaves you with sore legs, peace, serenity and a satisfaction.
My dad always says that we are not just prohibiting ourselves from eating or drinking. Its a bigger picture. We need to stay from lying, back biting, cheating and anything else that makes you less of a person. Ramadan prepares you to live your life in a better way the rest of eleven months as well. I hope that this month be as blessed and beautiful for everyone as it is for me.
My moms not home. She has been gone since last Friday. And she left me in charge. Not the, “look after your siblings and order food kind of in charge” but the “cook your own food and do all the chores and make sure the house does not burn down” in charge. I did not find it that hard. And I was so looking forward to one week without any parental supervision to kick start my vacations. Unfortunately, that did not happen.
A while back my gum started throbbing and I got up to go and show it to my mom and ask her what is wrong with it. Only to realise that she is not home. Now, I am sitting with my head in my arms, like a little baby, missing my mom. I just want to go, lay my head on her lap and stay there for ever. But she is not here. And that sucks. I miss her cheery voice and the smile that greets my crappy mood every morning. I want to hear her say the same thing to like ten persons simultaneously.
I have this sinking feeling in my stomach and all I can think of is that my mom only went for a week. She will be back tomorrow. What about the people whose moms leave them forever ? What do they do ? Who do they go to when they cannot figure out their life, when they are in pain and only their moms can understand them, when they want to be pampered. How do they get over the fact that they will never see her again ? Never see her smile, never hear her scold them, never eat the food she cooks, never wear the clothes she folds for them.
“Sometimes the smallest things take up the most room in your heart. ” -Pooh
Just the fact that my mom is there for me is my best comfort. She is my rock. And I miss her. I miss her like you miss sunshine in the winters or you miss pizza after your favourite pizza place shuts down. I miss her.