I Lost Faith

Faith.

Merriam Webster defines it as a strong belief or trust in someone or something.

For me it is riding with your brother despite the countless car accidents, he has been involved in. Or eating pasta on someone else’s reference. It is when you buy a pair of jeans without trying it on, trusting that the size will fit you. It is telling someone a secret and believing that they will keep it.

It does not matter whether you end up in a car accident once again. Or the pasta gives you food poisoning. Or there is no refund/exchange on the jeans that don’t fit you. Or that by the end of the day, the whole school knows that your family is broke.

What matters is that you believed in something. You had complete and utter faith.

Sometimes in yourself, sometimes in the other person.

I trust too easily.

I take that as a strength but it does not always play out like that. But when they say that there is no shortage of faith here.

They are right.

That changed last year.

I lost faith. In myself. In the people around me. In things. In destiny. In everything. It was like achieving complete oblivion.

It was like losing something I never realized I had in the first place.

Somehow I stopped believing that Allah has the best of plans in store for us.

But now I have found myself drinking Grape fruit juice on my aunt’s recommendation. I can see all the plans folding out for me. And I can believe in them.

Sometimes you just need to close your eyes, let go of everything and have faith.

If not in yourself, than your family, if not that, than your friends, if not even that, than at least God.

………

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