I got married at 19. Which sounds crazy right now but it turned out good in my case.
One of the things that I have to deal with because of getting married at such a young age is people wanting me to act ten years older than I really am.
Despite being the youngest in the house and being married to the third kid in the family, everyone is adamant to make me the eldest.
I am 19. I am going to act 19. Just because I said yes to this social stigma does not mean that I have grown horns and am a Stag now. I am at the age where all I want to do is sleep, study, eat, do what I love and repeat. I want to go out and spend all my money on one thing i.e, if I have money in the first place. I do not have any responsibilities on my shoulder and the last thing I desire is to act as someone would want me to. So I do not give a second thought to what people say about me or to me.
Because its not on my list of things to care about.
I am going to act stupid and make poor decisions. I am going to disagree with you on certain things and do what I want in others. I am going to eat out all week and gain weight. I will stay up all night watching Harvey somehow winning despite losing the case and than Mike Ross dumping his girlfriend for someone else. I will make excuses to go out on endless dinners to people’s houses I barely know.
The last thing I would want to do is get ready every single day. I do not mean the put on clothes, a couple pieces of jewelry, Mascara, Kajal and Lip Gloss and hope to look half decent. Its more like choosing the clothes with the most beads and thread work on, matching the bag and shoes, making your sure your skin looks like it can be featured in a B grade style magazine, putting on as much of the Gold jewelry as you can manage and after that, praying to not look like you are on your way to a wedding. When instead you are at home decorating yourself for no reason.
Imagine going out for a walk on corniche in that attire.
People expect that you will change your husbands habits and make him quit smoking or not drink Pepsi. They want you to participate in every small thing that goes around the house. You are suppose to take part in what gifts to be given to others. You have to go to all their friends and relatives and be the picture of a “Perfect Bahu”. Everyone expects that you will make the other do stuff they do not want, as if you are a magician instead of a girl.
I would not want someone to tell me to stop drinking Coke than why should I tell him ? Everyone of my mothers endless friends know that I will appear in their social gatherings only on Eid.
Its not that I cannot bear all these little things. I can. And I do.
But sometimes they infuriate me.
There so much small talk that I can make.
Almost all the friends in your family’s circle are in their Forties or Fifties. And I am not even half that age. I cannot bridge that gap just because one day I got married.
Not happening any time soon.
I have been lucky in this regard that I am blessed with an incredible family, who 95% percent of the time treat me, my age. And let me be who I am instead of making me what everyone wants. Its been almost four months since I got married and I have attended a total of 5 Post Wedding Mandatory Show Off Dawats. In another time and place, I would be attending at least a 100 of them.
And I am not even exaggerating right now.
Basically you have to get ready, eat and socialize with plastic smiles on your faces and acting as if you care.
When in reality you are just two crazy kids trying to figure out life and being happy at the same time.
I know that I might sound ungrateful. Some girls do want to do all that. But I do not. Not at this age or any age, for that. Everyone has different things that they find difficult.
This is just one of mine.