One of the side effects of growing up is making decisions. Sometimes you have to put yourself in the front seat and let everybody else ride in the back. I have been riding in the back for quiet sometime now. And its simply not working out. I seem to hit every nook and cranny of life. If I don’t hit a pole, a boulder ends up hitting me.
I have tried and done what is best for everyone else but deep down, I know that if things keep on going as they are, I would be saying goodbye to Abdullah. Living in the 21st century, I am a very practical person and can see when things are clearly not working out. We are two very different people who know that there opinions don’t match on 80% of the things. We also know what the other person’s stance would be on a particular issue. And that is completely fine with us.
Unfortunately, when it comes to our parents, we both don’t see the reality of things and end up somewhere we don’t want to be. One thing leads to another and before you know it, there is a huge drama/mess/fiasco in the house which I simply do not want to deal with. Because its not my creation.
Making a decision is a very hard thing. You have no way of knowing whether it is the right one or not. But it has to be made. I am okay with taking this step. I would rather start my life, struggle and take responsibility right now, than do all this ten years later. Maybe the time has come for both of us to stop living under our parents protective roof.
That is scary. I am studying to be an accountant but when it comes to personal finances, I could not be worse at it. But I think I am ready. I am ready to figure out things on my own, to take my life and just be who I am. No pretenses, no assumptions, no duality. Just plain old me.
As much as I am scared to take this step, I am also super excited. I feel like I am going to start my life all over again. Or began a completely new chapter. I am excited to have that freedom of doing what I want, whenever I want without any lectures, any kind of pressure on me or any doubts.
Its going to be an adventure. An adventure that I am looking forward to a lot. Although, Abdullah and I know that we would most probably end up living like two frat guys instead of adults. I was just telling him how I am ready to live without adult supervision. He looked at me funny and pointed at himself. I laughed like a maniac for half an hour.
I don’t know about my heart but in my brain, I know that this is the right decision. I am simply ready to move out and take a step forward.