Our past has a way of creeping itself upon us, when we want to leave it behind and move forward with our lives. It makes us doubt each step we take. We end up living where we were five years ago instead of moving on with the current year.
People have been talking about how unfair it was to me that I got married at 19. I, the super talented, intelligent, creative, brilliant student who had big dreams and even bigger ideas to achieve all that. Some think that the guy was not good enough. Or his family was not as they thought they were. Or that my studies were left hanging in between.
Yes, it was unfair to me. Yes, time and again I told my mom to wait a bit longer but at the time she did not listen. Nobody did. Everyone was too drunk in what was the perfect dream that I was suppose to live to notice how unhappy and uncertain I was. People did not care about what I wanted or that I had managed to get in one of the top ten school’s in the world. Nobody gave a damn. Or simply cared.
All everyone wanted was me to get married and live a life that was never mine in the first place.
What I don’t get is why people have started caring about how my life is now and how it should have been. Why my parents think that it was an impulse decision to marry me off ? Even if they do, I do not care.
I have finally accepted the fact that I am married, that I have to do everything on my own now. I have to struggle even harder, push myself to do my best in everything, so that at the end of the day I can still see myself as the girl who has big dreams. I am moving on with my life, living a contented life and studying while being married.
What you, as my parents or friends are saying now, makes no difference to me. It only makes me doubt myself, feel pity for the decision you took. I am grateful to have the life that I do. I don’t want to live in the past or second guess your decisions.
Do not let your past stand in the way of your present. Sometimes we let our plans and dreams for the future ruin our present. Other times, its our past that stops us from living in 2015.
Yes, my life is not perfect. So is nobody else’s. We all have some good things and some bad in our lives. What matters is how we take that and what we do with it.