It’s been a long time since I last spoke to you. A lot has changed. A lot remains the same. I am more sure of where I want to go from here.
I am really happy right in this moment. I am laughing without a care in the world. I am doing things that I normally do. I am being who I am.
Though I want to stay in this blissful state, I know that it won’t remain the same forever. So I have to move on before I am broken again. Before words are hurled at me like a sandstorm.
I know that it’s inevitable. If there is one thing I have learnt, it’s that no matter what I do or what I don’t, I will always have to face things that are not my fault. I will have to stay quiet and let the other person stomp on me with their words. So now, I just stay in my happy place. And I wait for things to go lopsided.
That’s okay because I also know that this is not going to be my moment forever. Time passes by and things change. Time is an ever flowing river that takes all the dirt and stones with it.
One thing is for sure. I don’t want to live here, in this country. I want to move. I don’t know when that will happen, but it will. I don’t know where I will move. Or what I will do to make that move. But I am ready to leave this country behind. I am ready to say goodbye.
That is not to say that these goodbyes will be easy. But they will be essential.