“What do you do ?” I heard an aunty ask this 25 something girl who had done Bachelors in Economics and Communications.
“I am married.” was her reply.
I stood there transfixed on what she had said. It was her way of defining who she was.
A couple of days later, someone asked me what I did.
“I am studying to be an accountant, I write as a hobby and love reading books.” This was my reply to define who I was.
After being married, why is it that in our society, that becomes your definition. As a girl your answer is your marriage instead of who you are, what you like and what you do.
When the same question is addressed to guys, their reply is either the profession they studied or the field they are working in.
It is as if, marriage transports you to another world where your only means of identity is who you are married to, what he does, how many siblings he has and what about his family.
I refuse to be a part of this stereotypical society. I am not just married. I am loyal. I am confident. I am bold. I am an aspiring writer. I am studying to become an accountant. I am not a fan of chocolate ice cream while that is the only flavour my husband eats. I love watching TV shows while he is more into movies. He watches more Bollywood movies while I am more of a Hollywood fan. He is not a very goal oriented person while my plans never finish.
I am me. I am a girl. I am 5’3.
Do not make us something we are not. You are devaluing the girls of today, reducing their identity to just being tied in a knot with a guy.
Life is so much more. Its about taking an impromptu trip without researching or booking a hotel. It’s about working hard each day to be who you are. It’s about love and grief and joy and sadness all encompassed into one. It’s taking a left turn from the straight line on a traffic light. Its wearing hot pink from head to toe.
Do not let the society define who you are. You are who you want to be. Does not matter if that is being married or being a degree holder. You should be the one to choose that.
Be the one to create your own definition.