Two years ago life was very different
I had just graduated High School, gotten admission in LSBF, was madly in love with writing and wanted to conquer the world in a whirlwind.
And I then, all of a sudden I got married.
I have never believed in fairy tales. I had no big plans to grow up, go to college, find a handsome guy with a million dollar bank account, get married in a dream location, buy a white picket house with a big yard, have a bunch of kids and live that illusion of a perfect life.
Nope. Not my dream.
I wonder if life would be easier if that had been my dream. But then you don’t get to chose your dreams. You just get to work for them. And maybe live them. If you are fortunate enough.
What I wanted was to be independent enough to be able to do things on my own, have courage to visit a foreign country by myself, make my parents proud on the day I graduate, make new friends in a new place and live life to the fullest.
Now when I am making Biryani from scratch, draining hot water from a huge pan of rice, can differentiate between Zeera and Dhanya, can cut raw chicken, make Karahi without consulting the recipe, I take a step back and think, is it really me ?
Because I am proud of myself. Of the person I have become.
I knew that I had it in me to educate myself and get a degree. That sounds pretentious but you know what your abilities are as a person. Cooking and being a ‘bahu'(daughter-in-law) was never one of them. But I do it now. I do all of it with ease.
I have come to the conclusion that maybe, yes maybe, I can do this. A part of me can be the ‘Mashraqi’ (Eastern) girl that people expect of me.
During all this, I have managed to explore a part of myself that I never believed in. And I have become a better version of myself.
Life is different. But it’s not bad. Not bad at all. 🙂